All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
