Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
