Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize