Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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