I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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