bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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