Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
