I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
