I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
