Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
