i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
