Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
