left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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