Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
