I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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