i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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