ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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