its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
