It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
