Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
