I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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