ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
