Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
