It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
