please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
