my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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