She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
