made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
