You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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