nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Text me some of your sweat
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
