maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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