If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
