I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
