I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
