Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
