this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm like, not good at living.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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