I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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