she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
