The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
