I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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