i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize