I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize