he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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