I'm really into asian looking animals
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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