He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
