Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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