margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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