so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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