Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
