i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
