I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
