Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
