You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
