Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize