By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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